The Dreamer - 飞在水 (empathicdesign) wrote in freedomtospeak,
The Dreamer - 飞在水

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Another Rant - They've got money. WHO CARES?!

OK Before I go back to my homework I've got one more bone to pick. It doesn't happen often but when it does I get pissed off. I am a student. I go to school full time, I'm looking for a job, and until I find one my Mom is helping me out. My school has always been taken care of by my Mom and dad, however I no longer am willing to accept my dad's money.

My dad is very rich. He's (as of last January anyway) on his second Ferrari, and if he doesn't drive that, he has a choice between a Mercedes, a Jaguar, and a Lexus to drive to work in the morning. He and my step Mom just a built a brand new, state of the art 10,000 square foot house on the water front of Lake Washington. Last I checked there were 4 boats in the dock in the front of the house, and they've acceded above the old fashioned "Hey so and so, telephone!" to paging around the house on an intercom to inform people when they have guests or phone calls.

Ay know what? None of that stuff means anything, because there isn't a single person in that house that is living happily. I lived there from the end of the summer before my 5th grade year, until I was 20. Ya know what else? My standard of living was reduced to survival instinct! I was afraid of my father's wrath! We didn't have a close family like any of the other people I knew did. Even some of them didn't think they had good families, but at least they'd admit to not being afraid of getting their heads slammed through a wall or being told on a daily basis that they were failures, disgraces, or all around losers.

There's more to it than that, but I don't need to elaborate for my purposes here. If you've got a beef about me being born to a family that's got a 7 or 8 figure income DEAL WITH IT! I paid my prince, it cost me my fucking childhood! It cost me the all the social knowledge that I should have right now, but instead I'm struggling to learn!

If I'm a spoiled rich wealthy brat, then tell me why I refuse to extend myself to make with that bastard of a father I have? Tell me why when I had the opportunity for them to build me my own apartment on top of their house free of charge, pay for all schooling and living expenses, I REJECTED it!

There's more in this world than money. Being born at the top of the economic later has enabled me to see what most people never will. These people, your "superiors," the power players in society live their lives telling you that they are better than you, and damn it if your actions don't say that you agree! Don't you all get it? When you're looking down from a position of wealth and power, everyone is a pawn. There's no humanity left in you and your dead to the world in which you've striven to succeed in.

There is NOT a price that can be placed on my soul, my SPIRIT can NOT be BOUGHT! To hell with their diamonds, monster sized house, and luxury vechicals! It's a house full of walking corpses that don 't know their dead yet. I survived by looking like them, or at least detaching myself from normal human wants and desires for the time being. I did what I had to. I lived in a box with the shades closed and only what I thought could not be forcibly taken from me (yes, even I was a pawn -- even their own damn children! ). My role was to make them feel like they had control.

I've distanced myself now. I'm wounded, and have been shaped by experience, but I am not a corpse!

If you weren't born to luxury, that's fine. If there are things that are difficult due to finance that's fine too. Stop bitching about it. You have a soul. Be thankful for that. If you want to be like them, start viewing everyone you meet as an object. Go for it, I dare you.

If you just want to get through school, why don't you take half the time you spend bitching at me, and start researching education assistance programs! Jesus! I used them and I'm a "rich kid." You can do the same! I happen to know that you can get at least $2, 000 per quarter per school year from the government if you're not being claimed dependent in mere grants! If you want your school bad, write some fucking essays and work on some scholarships! There are thousands of them out there. If you can write a decent term paper, then you can do on e of these.

I swear, some people just like to feel sorry for themselves. I know this feeling, but I don't have to like it. Open yourself. There's ALWAYS a way, bitterness gets you no where. Ironically many of the "successful" people that you're living in the shadows of will tell you the same thing.
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